Defined by the Cards ©
Most of my friends in the tarot world know that I always identify myself with the Nine of Pentacles…..a woman content in my home surroundings, animals by my side and outside my door. I may not have the financial security of this card, but I have so much more. I have my life. I have my family, though many miles away, to love, and to know they love me. I have every morning I wake and appreciate what I have, and who I am.
But—-the question is, have I changed? Have I stopped being my treasured Nine of Pentacles? Many women in the tarot identify with the Queens. I can see myself being all four at one time or another. I am the Queen of Swords. I am a writer, drawn to putting my deepest thoughts onto paper. I enjoy debates and active, enlightening, sometimes controversial discussions.
I am also the Queen of Wands—very creative, artistic, and passionate. I was once told it was easier to write a short list of things I have not done, rather than the lengthy list of things I have created.
The Queen of Cups figures prominently into my personality and life. I am extremely over-sensitive, and highly emotional. Suddenly, without warning, I can begin to cry. I love deeply and sincerely.
Back to the pentacles again, I can also be the Queen of Pentacles. I am a very grounded individual. I love and respect nature, and all she brings to me. The Empress fits in very well here, as I am a nurturing soul with a love for all life.
Let me toss more of the Major Arcana into the mix. I have tremendous Strength. Strength to hold up against all odds. Strength to find my way through many dark days. Just as the Wheel of Fortune turns, and where she stops, nobody knows, so does my life have many ups and downs. I depend on the hope that when everything is at rock bottom (Ten of Swords here), the wheel is still moving forward, and will right itself again. What goes around, comes around. The Emperor comes into play here in the way that I am strong, and will protect myself when necessary. When stabbed in the back, I come out fighting. The only direction from here is up!
Am I a little bit Hermit? Oh yes—very much so! I live a very solitary life for the most part—always searching deep into my soul, seeking the truth. Along with the Hermit, I am also part High Priestess. I hold secrets of my own, and well as secrets of others—secrets to be told only for the good, and never to harm.
I am most definitely the Fool , known to take reckless chances. I leap into situations that I sometimes later regret. But that is life—we cannot always predict the results, and we cannot always be sure of whether or not we will land on our feet.
Let’s quickly go through more majors. Temperance, yes, I try to keep an even balance in my life, especially my emotions, which is sometimes very difficult. Justice…well, being a Libran, I strive to be fair and just to all. The Lovers– I prefer to never become involved in another relationship. However, when I do love, it is with deep commitment and passion.
The Moon, Star, and Sun are all very prominent. I will always wish on a Star, not only for myself, but to grant wishes to those I love, and those in need. I will always believe the Sun will shine again, after the darkness passes. The Moon will forever be my light in the darkness, and will always connect me with loved ones so far away.
The Chariot represents my drive to take control and move forward. The Devil, I am ashamed to admit, knows all my faults and bad habits that I must correct and/or discard. Death shows me that after a period of grieving, a new life begins, whether after a physical death, or the end of the old way of living, and the beginning of a new way.
The Hanged Man teaches me to relax, take a break, think things over before making decisions too quickly. He tells me that I may have to change direction, and look at situations from another point of view. The Hierophant is a part of me that holds onto faith—faith in myself, and faith in the universe. He often tells me I need to follow the rules, but I may have to throw caution to the wind and break those rules, for my own good, and the good of all.
The Tower warns me that change can appear suddenly. In the blink of an eye, everything can come crashing down, but that does not always mean disaster. The crash can be a chance to rebuild a better life.
I rely on Judgment to reassure me that everyone who has wronged me will one day have to answer to a higher power for their wrong doings, and that I, too, will have to answer for mine. He keeps my actions in check with what is right and what is wrong.
There are times when I feel like the Magician—always trying to manipulate my finances and perform little acts of magick in order to survive. I have tools available to me that can be used, but I must use them with honesty, fairness, and caution. We all need a little bit of magick in our lives now and then.
Through it all, I realize I am part of the World—I am my own private world, in my own private sanctuary, and yet I am part of the larger picture. All of us, as small parts, make up the entire world. I hope to play my part in preserving this world for future generations to come, by being the best person I can be, and by honoring the earth.
And so, we come down to the original question of who I am according to the tarot, and have I changed. I believe I am still the Nine of Pentacles. I still love feeling the earth beneath my feet. I still honor and respect Mother Nature. I still love all the creatures of the world—those that walk, fly, swim, and crawl. I love the plants that Mother Nature has given us to shelter us, to feed and nurture us. I love the sky, the clouds, the rain, the snow, and all the seasons that play their part in this vast, beautiful world. My land, my animals, my family, are more important to me than life itself, and I am quite contented to be me! Yes, I am still the Nine of Pentacles!
Joanne Matthew (2013)