Years I go I had a friend who would often say “should is a funny word” in response to statements such as “I should really be going” and “I should get ready for work.”
Now I find myself using this phrase in a different context.
Often in readings I notice people carry a great deal of hurt, anger and guilt because of the way things “should” be.
“We should be closer as a family.”
“I should have more money.”
“I should feel differently about this.”
The hurt that comes from “should” divides into two categories. One is personal disappointment with self. Essentially, I should be better than I am.
The second is disappointment with life. It’s a feeling that one’s life or one’s circumstances should be different than they are.
When we use the word “should” in our internal dialogues we create a reality where it’s hard to be satisfied with ourselves, and our lives.
It’s human nature to wish things could be different. But our healing begins with acceptance. Our healing is complete when we are able to reframe our perspective and appreciate that everything is exactly as it SHOULD be at this moment.
Of course we need to set goals and have hope for a better future. When we start from a place of self-acceptance it’s a lot easier to realize those goals.