Here’s a conversation that seems to happen a great deal.
You: “I am sure I will never meet someone to have a relationship with.
Me: “What makes you sure about that?”
You: “I haven’t met anyone yet.”
There are other versions of that conversation, too, including the one that goes like this.
You: “I know I will never have a good love relationship.”
Me: “How do you know that?”
Client: “Because I never have.”
It’s true that sometimes when we want different results, we have to do different things. Nonetheless, it feels dangerous to assume that whatever has been true about our past will also be true about our future.
The dichotomy is this. It’s human nature to fear change. So if we want something different in the future than we had in the past, we have to be open to change, and willing to make change.
We can learn from the past. We can allow the past to create a foundation for the future. We can make changes, so we don’t repeat the past.
We don’t have to let our past dictate, or predict, our future.